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AROUND THE HOUSE


Welcome to the Around the House.
Things you don't want the neighbours to see..

Contents
Introduction People Are Annoying
Not My Kid's Cars, Travel and Stuff
Around the House Links

You make liver and onions for dinner, and then your wife asks where the Lily bulbs she left on the counter went...

You find out you have been making your lunch with Miss Mew all week...

You have to admit it's one way to prepare for retirement...

You close the utensil drawer with your hip and discover a fork sticking out...

At 4 AM you touch one of the prongs while plugging in the toaster...

Not getting the message, you do the same thing with the kettle 5 minutes later...

Your dog does an impressive butt across the length of your new white carpet...

While hopping up and down on one foot after stepping on a nail, you step on it again with the other foot...

You overwax the floor in front of the hall closet and end up in it, upside down the next time you open the door...

On the third spray, the nozzle of the paint can has turned towards you...

You open your wifes side of the medicine cabinet by mistake and experience temporary blindness...

You spend thousands for a home security system, and your car gets stolen...

You accidently leave the burner on under that pot of creamed eels you had for dinner...

The bug you just mashed into the floor with your bare foot has a stinger...

You find the cat inside the fridge...

At your house this does not surprise you...

You rifle through the junk drawer and find an open box of pushpins...

Making toast in the morning you butter a potholder...

It tasted ok...

You soak your contacts in Nasal Spray...

You cant see, but your eyes have a heightened sense of smell...

One of the firelogs you just carried into the house has a nest of hornets in it...

Hornets dont like being relocated against their will...

After you get settled into a warm bath, you suddenly remember something your wife said about rinsing out the cleaning stuff she sprayed the tub with...

Thinking you can fix the stereo you find out the hard way what a 'discharge capacitor' is...

You bite your tongue...

You burn your tongue...

You swallow your tongue...





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